Sabrina and I married when we were both around 30. We were moving to new city together so I could continue grad-school and I felt it was a good time to start a life together. The plan was to have a least two children after I finished grad school. My Ph.D. took six-years to complete. When I finished we were both about 36 and the clock was really ticking. We had our first child less than a year after I finished. Both our children were absolutely planned. We felt strongly about having at least two children before we hit 40. We still want a third, but we're putting it off until we have a bigger place to live.

Ready? You're never ready, not emotionally or financially. I think someone could be perfectly happy and not have children. Sometimes, I feel that all the cash I throw at the kids could be used to buy all kinds of electronic toys. Hind-site being what it is, I've come to realize that out lives were not as interesting before the kids.

Regrets? I regret that I probably won't live to see my grandchildren. My father died years before my daughter was born and I regret that she'll never known him.

How old were you when you had your first child?
No kids yet, but I want to have at least 1 by 30 y.o.

If you had waited to have children until everything in life were as perfect as possible, high-paying job, home ownership, philanthropic endeavors underway, and it ended up being too late by the time life was perfect, would you have regretted it or been okay bypassing parenthood?
I would have never waited for anything to be perfectly in order simplt because I know there is no such thing. There is always something. When I want kids I will ghave them without waiting for anything perfect. Its like waiting for a perfect guy and using it as an excuse not to be with anyone, But then how would you know he is perfect without even trying? When the kids arive and you hold this little you in your hands nothing could be more perfect.

With your first child, did you actually plan it or did it "just happen"? Dont have yet, but whatever it is it will always be loved and welcomed and cherished above all.

How can you tell you are ready? Or is this one of those things where you can't know for sure until you're a parent?
I don't think you can tell. You just are. Especially when you are above 25 and have a certain maturity level. Everything else is fear.

If you could go back to before conceiving your first, would you have done anything different? What would you have changed about your life before having a baby?
N/A

What is your greatest regret? Your greatest joy?
No regrets. Greates joy - living my life everyday

Completely honestly speaking, would you do everything you did again, or would you have waited, or had the first child sooner?
N/A


Now my question - why suddenly these questions?

Answers can be e-mailed, if you'd prefer, to ariaaustin at gmail dot com

How old? I was 22.

If I had waited till everything was perfect and it was too late ... I'm not sure how I would have felt, because I never felt an urge to be a parent exactly. I probably would have been fine, I guess.

Plan or "just happen"? It just happened, pretty much.

How can you tell you are ready? I do think you can never tell. You can get to where you think you want to be to start a family, but there's always going to be something else to consider, some reason that another time would be better, some wrench in the works.

If you could go back to before conceiving your first, would you have done anything different? What would you have changed about your life before having a baby? There are things in my life that probably could have put me in a better place to be a parent, but it's not related to actually having children or the time immediately leading up to it.

Greatest regret? Greatest joy? I think as much as I have regrets (which isn't that much), I regret the fact that I had some issues that made the early years very difficult for me. Greatest joy - realizing that I'm achieving my goal of raising my children to be people I would actually want to hang around with.

Completely honestly speaking, would you do everything you did again, or would you have waited, or had the first child sooner? I would do everything the same .. I think that in spite of everything, it was the best time for me to have kids. I wasn't making use of my 20's anyway and I fully intend to appreciate my 40's when I'm done with childrearing.